...the Day I Held Aloft my Magic Sword

Part 6 of my "live blogging" exercise about The Masters of the Universe live action film, 15 minutes at a time. Only a half hour to go!

Skeletor just delivered his ultimatum. "He-Man, throw down your sword." "But what am I use to compensate for my 'roid-shrunken Pee-Man?"Skeletor is the freakin' man. I love how he rolls his eyes at He-Man's nobility when he saves his friends by surrendering. He can't believe his cheesiness. Blade is STOKED by his boss's BAWSSNESS:
Skeletor honors his deal - to make sure he always has a hold on He-Man - and leaves the other goodies to rot on tacky ol' Earth. And Gwildor's lost Eternia's coordinates. And Eternia is the only place Julie can get treatment for a Skelezap!
I'm not a doctor, but that MIGHT be infected. Tom Paris swoons. So... Exit army, back to Eternia. Enter Lubic and his back-up, the whole police force, looking for an army to fight. Timing. It's all about timing.
Gwildor explains that 1) it's pronounced Skeleter and 2) the Cosmic Key's memory's been wiped of the melody it plays to open a Boom Tube to Eternia. But wait! Kevin plays in an 80s high school glam rock band! He might be able to play the tune back! It takes a pep talk and Teela and Man-at-Arms cannibalizing their uniforms for random [TECHNO-BABBLE] elements, but Kevin might just be able to save the universe! (Well, Julie and He-Man, at any rate.)

Meanwhile, on Eternia... Skeletor sees He-Man bare-chested and oiled-up and declares: "I win."
The Sorceress quietly judges him.
She's wasting away, and Skeletor is about to have ALL the Power of Grayskull. He slips He-Man's sword into a high-tech device, like Excalibur into a hot butter stone, chains He-Man to the floor and forces him to kneel before him in front of all Eternia. He doesn't want to? Taste of the Ferengi lash, Blades.
Oooh, that's gonna sting. And if Gwildor, Kevin and the rest can't fix their Boom Tube quickly enough, Skeletor will declare himself Master... of... the Universe!
Now THOSE are the colord I remember from my action figures! Skeletor is really enjoying himself now... and in all sorts of ways. Has he really become... a god? A Kirby god?
The hat seems to say yes.

Ok Kevin, it's about time your band played its set, because the universe is in trouble. Skeletor has climaxed, now the story needs to. In 24 short hours!*

*Hours to be the same length they usually are.

Comments

De said…
Movies like this make it a little hard to believe sometimes that Dolph was an MIT Fulbright Scholar.
Will said…
and what man ever forgets the first time he held aloft his magic sword
Siskoid said…
De: Maybe it's the language barrier.

Will: Yes, I was rather a late swordsman.
Austin Gorton said…
I wonder how many goons Skeletor lost because the big pits in the center of Grayskull's throne room don't have railings around them (of course, as a kid I just assumed open chasms were a requirement of all castles/villainous headquarters).

Also, it totally went over my head as a kid, but man alive, He-Man chained and whipped in front of Skeletor is kinda...let's say "adult", isn't it?

Has he really become... a god? A Kirby god?

Skeletor's transformation into a "god" blew my little mind. I thought that was, like, the awesomest thing ever.
Siskoid said…
And leaves me wondering: Why did it never become an accessory?
Mitchell Craig said…
De: Dolph probably had some additional loans to pay back.
Randal said…
I'm hoping the God Armor Skeletor comes out in the current Masters of the Universe specialty figures...I think Gwildor is on the horizon, from what I remember. Hell, if we can finally get a Fearless Photog, we can get Kirby Skeletor.
LiamKav said…
"Will: Yes, I was rather a late swordsman."

It doesn't matter when you first did it, as long as secrets were revealed to you.

Fabulous secrets.
Siskoid said…
I believe I wasn't alone.

I... SHARED... THE POWER!!!
LiamKav said…
With your friends the Sorceress, Man-At-Arms and Orko? Busy night.