Time Capsule: Swing with Scooter

How do you capitalize at once on the Archie explosion and Beatlemania? No, the answer isn't Teen Titans, it's Swing with Scooter! To find out if it fares better than, say, Binky or Pavel Chekov, we'll have to dig up another time capsule...The label says June-July 1966...

SWING WITH SCOOTER #1, DC Comics, June-July 1966
When British superstar Scooter leaves the Banshees to come and live in Plainsville USA (it's not snark, that's actually the name), he's sure to cause a ruckus. Good thing he has his special scooter that "can do anything" like throw smoke screens, or else he might not survive!

Scooter's popularity isn't universal though. Judging by the cover, he's got his critics as well. But then, dialogue like this was bound to cause some controversy:

Still, I think the critics are in the minority:
Remember, this is before the tightened security at the airport. Lonnnnnnnng before.
You know, Scooter could do with a bodyguard.
But then, if they're gonna come down the chimney, you might as well take it as an early Christmas present.

At this point, allow me to reveal that this mag is written and drawn by comics legend Joe Orlando. It's true. Given that pedigree, I believe Swing with Scooter is a lot more than an Archie knock-off. What Orlando has created here is an Archie parody in hyperdrive, with wall-to-wall action, crazy lingo filled with song lyrics, and eventually, everything from aliens and ghosts to Jimmy Olsen-like metamorphoses. As such, it's got its own Veronica in "rich-witch" Penny who kidnaps Scooter with her private helicopter and drops him into her personal amusement park filled with traps.
And its own Betty in goody two-shoes Cookie:
But he rejects them both in favor of hot librarian-type Cynthia!
That gets all the girls getting hot librarian make-overs. But get this, Cynthia's not his girl, she's his SISTER! Uh-oh...
DC was marketing this to girls and the text pieces prove it. There's biographical info on real music superstars like Elvis, and one of those inappropriately-titled columns you're kinda worried are written by middle-aged men.
Remember girls, guys like their chicks neat and pretty! Other sage advice lower on the page includes: "A pretty mouth line is very important to a miss!" and "Hips too wide? Ah, that's a shame, but it's no longer a problem! Bell-bottom slacks are the things for you - they can keep a real secret!"

But none of those are the lesson of the day. No the lesson of the day is:
SO HAVE OUR FOREFATHERS SPOKEN!

Comments