Teen Titans #6, DC Comics, Nov-Dec 1966

"The Fifth Titan" is all about Beast Boy... Wait, not Speedy? I suppose a cut scene where he pees in a cup at the end of the Olympics issue tipped Robin off or something. And yet, in #5, Robin read a letter from Speedy saying he would love to team up again, and the Titans agreed. Wonder Girl was heard to say he was cuter than any of the others (and Donna Troy did wind up with Roy at some point, right?), and Kid-Flash thought he was "a gas" to work with (but he NEVER inhaled!). In THIS issue, the hip-to-it narrator promises Speedy will be back, but now for something completely different...

Readers principally familiar with the Marv Wolfman/George Perez New Titans know Garfield Logan as Changeling, but thanks to the cartoon, he's back to Beast Boy. There was never anything wrong with that name, in my opinion, and no reason to "Marvelize" him with a so-called "cool" codename. Pulled from the pages of Haney's Doom Patrol (a comic even weirder than this one, which REALLY needs the Showcase Presents treatment, folks), Beast Boy is a green teen who can turn into any animal he can imagine. In these early appearances, he's not above creating hybrid forms (the snake-ape on the cover, for example) and always keeps his trademark haircut.
Gar's got problems. His legal guardian doesn't know he's got powers and so wouldn't give written permission for him to join the Doom Patrol. And the Teen Titans apparently have the same policy, so he can't join them either. I bet they have to keep their grades up too and be home by seven. Even a demonstration of his powers doesn't convince them. Or maybe it was the dry leg-humping that disturbed them, I don't know.

Rejected, he runs off to join the circus. Hey, it happens a lot more than you think. Of course, associating with filthy carnies is a sure way to get yourself exploited. (I am convinced the carny mafia is the sole reason why Paradox' Big Book of Freaks was allowed to go out-of-print. They just blamed oversensitive bearded ladies, that's all. Bearded ladies always take the rap.) As it happens, Beast Boy's new mentor is lion tamer Baltzer the Beast Master (you're name is BEAST Boy, get a clue!), and he's up to no good.

He make Beast Boy a star, yes, but his real plan is to rob circus audiences of their hard-earned money. How? With the most illogical and convoluted hypnosis scheme in carny history. He has this hypnotist called Vorna, see, and Vorna hypnotizes Beast Boy into turning into "the rarest of creatures, an albino baboon". Then, bouncing his hypnotism effect off the baboon's eyes, he entrances the entire audience. In Vorna's own words: "Since hypnotized subjects will do nothing against their will, I couldn't order Beast Boy, in his baboon form, to follow my orders, but if those orders are relayed from one hypnotized brain to another, the inhibition is broken and absolute unquestioned obedience is obtained!" Oh, is THAT how it works?!

Oh, and then Baltzer uses a modified Zamboni to suck up all the money and pearls thrown into the ring. The entranced crowd then heads off to pillage the town, which brings it to the Titans' attention. Note this key moment: While Robin was tied to an out-of-control motorcycle in #3, this is the first time the Boy Wonder is seen actually driving his own. Bob Haney can truly be credited for giving Robin a bike, which has since become a staple of the character. Of course, every Titan has their own hog. ...even Kid-Flash, who surely doesn't need it?? Even more bizarre is that he's the one that comments on the quicker-than-usual pace. Wally West must be one lazy slacker.

More hypnosis madness: Wonder Girl de-hypnotizes the crowd by spinning a giant circular jewelry store sign. Umm, ok... The Titans follow up by disguising themselves as a team of acrobats and joining the circus undercover. But the fact that they hide rather than be hypnotized sends Baltzer into a rage and he locks them into a safe and throws it down into that diving pool acrobats sometimes jump into!

Much like the bottomless barrel from issue #3, this pool is larger on the inside than the outside. And apparently adjoining a shark tank that must somehow travel with the circus! The things you can afford with carny money! While Aqualad fights for his life against a creature he should kinda be able to control, the rest of the escaped Titans square off against the hypnotized Beast Boy. Baltzer has some balls though, and joins the fray, using his "early training as an acrobat" to shoot himself out of a cannon, swinging magnesium flares around like some kind of Hindu god. Not sure what he was trying to accomplish there... What he MANAGES to do is snap Beast Boy out of his trance, which spells the end of his dastardly carny career. Yee-haw.

So does Beast Boy join? Well, it's up to us, apparently, as Robin breaks the fourth wall (yipes!) to ask the readers for feedback. But Robin, what happened to Speedy? When he first appeared it was because we DEMANDED IT! There were probably so many requests that you had to keep saying that Speedy would be back EVERY ISSUE! And he's still not a Titan! What do you know that we don't, Robin? Have you seen urine test results? What's your beef with Speedy? What I really like about this panel though is Wonder Girl in the background. She apparently thinks an efficient way to return the crowd's money is to have an elephant throw it back in their general direction. To me, funny.

Next issue: Finally! The Mad Mod!!! (You thought I was gonna announce Speedy's return, didn't you?)

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